A Pregnant Woman’s Story

“You see homeless people and you don’t really think about it. You’re just, like, walking by so many, I’ve noticed. But the main thing is going to the bathroom. You have to pay to use the bathroom anywhere. And even when you do, they still give you a hard time. And I get it. A lot of people are, like, using drugs and stuff, so that’s the main thing… but like, say its six o’clock in the morning, and also, I don’t know if you see that I’m pregnant… you have to pee! And they give you a hard time. But even if you pay, sometimes they still give you a hard time. I don’t know if that’s legal, because that happened this morning. I had to use the restroom, I bought something… I was at a McDonald’s, the only thing open at that time… and they just say ‘no, no, no, no!’ And other people come in that don’t look homeless… I guess I do, even though I don’t bring my stuff in, and they let other people in! And I don’t understand that.

That’s a big thing that I’ve noticed about New York because… you ever see a lot of people pee outside? Or you just smell that smell? I’m not sure if people are peeing outside or, like, what’s going on, but that’s an issue too and people complain about it. Like, why are you going to complain about it if you’re not letting people use any restrooms anywhere? You know? That’s just, like, the biggest thing I’ve been facing. Like, I have to pee a lot, and I can’t. It’s like the one thing that upsets me the most, because I’ve got to go, but you have to go place to place looking to find one, and then when you do, they say you have to buy something, and when you do they still won’t let you! And things are not cheap in New York.”

How she became homeless:

“I’m originally from New Jersey, but I’ve been living in California for the past eight years. I was living with my boyfriend and we decided to move out here. We rented a room through Craigslist, and we were there for maybe three or four days, and on the fourth day we came back and most of our stuff was gone. Like, he [the landlord] took our security deposit and first month’s rent, which was almost all of our money. He just up and left. The police said it happens quite often. People get evicted and then use, like, our money to go live somewhere else. And it’s like a small claims matter, so what’re you going to do? You have to try to get them to go to court, if you can even find them… which, I don’t even know what’s going on with that.

And then within two days of being on the street… me and my boyfriend, we tied our stuff to us… we had one of those little cart things that we found, we tied it to ourselves while we were sleeping. Someone cut the rope and stole all the rest of our stuff. Which was just like clothes and stuff like that, but inside I had hidden in my clothes my birth certificate, all my important documents. They talk about all these drop-in centers where you can go shower and stuff? You can’t do anything… like shelters, whatever, unless you have ID. Which makes no sense if you’re homeless, because how many homeless people have ID? You know? You can’t get your ID without those six points, you can’t get those six points without a birth certificate or a social [security card]… it’s a whole circle. [I’ve been homeless] a little over a month now. Which, you know, isn’t long in comparison to a lot of other people here, but it’s long enough for me. I never thought this would happen.

I almost had my RN [Registered Nurse]. I got up to my preceptorship with that. I was doing like a lot of stuff, you know? I worked almost my entire life up until now. I made it to my preceptorship, and I was doing well throughout the whole thing, but my last semester… a lot of stuff was going on, my boyfriend was sick, I was really focusing more on like a lot of other things than I should. But unfortunately, failing is a 74, and I got a 73.2, and it wouldn’t round up. I could’ve went and tried to figure something out, but I would’ve had to start the whole thing over again and it was just too much at the time… tuition and stuff.

So, you know, I’ve waitressed since I was 14, and bartended and stuff. I’ve been doing that mostly, a little over half my life now, since I just turned 29. I’m looking into things like that, but I mean, it’s hard if you can’t shower and you can’t look presentable. And that’s, like, my biggest issue right now. When I first came out here, I started, like, applying to things, and they all wanted resumes. And I didn’t have… I had resumes with my birth certificate… that folder had all my stuff in it… before that got stolen. So I don’t know how to make one now. I don’t know if the library has computers… I was just told there’s a library close by. And my boyfriend, he’s a plumber by trade, and does handy work. He’s trying to look online for stuff. He found something promising today. And that’s good, but it doesn’t mean there’s, like, money in our hands.

You see people mouthing things. Or they come up to you and tell you how disgusting you are, and how you’re young enough to go get a job. Yeah, but, you know, you don’t get a job in one day. You don’t know how long I’ve been doing this. I could be doing this for nine years lying to you, or I could’ve been sitting here with this sign for like three days.”

The happiest moment of her life:

“Unfortunately, it’s happening right now, but getting pregnant. I’ve been trying to get pregnant for maybe 8 years now. And, it’s happened at this crazy time. So probably that, when I found out. I’m three and something, almost four months. I’m more nervous than anything, because of course this is happening now, where I don’t know what’s going on. I’m like so afraid something crazy’s going to happen. I had such a hard time getting pregnant, that I’m so afraid that it’s not real. You know? I’ve had names picked out for years. If it’s a girl… Madeline. Everyone makes fun of it, they say it’s such an old lady name, but I love it. A boy… I’ve always liked Jack, even though it’s so plain, but I don’t know. I guess it’s up to him [her boyfriend], I told him he can name it if it’s a boy. He also likes Penelope, but I don’t really like that.”